There are words we don’t like hearing. Hate is one of them, especially when it is directed towards people (or things) for which we have a natural fondness.

We try to teach our kinds not to ‘hate’ things – even green vegetables. For most of us, this extreme language is reserved for horrific or indescribable situations or circumstances. It does shock the ears to hear the statement from the Gospel this morning…even more because Jesus is making it.

“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”

We’d rather soften it a bit – and believe me, I tried. Of the 62 English language translations that are easily searchable online, 51 use ‘hate’ to express the sentiment found in this passage. You are required to hate your closest family in order to be a disciple of Jesus. You must also be prepared to carry your own death sentence (carry the cross and follow) if you are serious about a life following Jesus. These are harsh terms. And while we might be tempted to ignore (or soften) the suggestion of familial hatred, we have to acknowledge something basic about the invitation to follow Jesus.

To follow Jesus is not simply to learn a prayer or join a congregation. Jesus was not promoting a new religion. He was proposing a radically different attitude toward life – toward relationships – and yes, toward religion.

To follow Jesus is to embark on a difficult journey.

Jesus offers a pattern of life guided by relationship but wants us to consider ‘our possessions – ALL the things that rule our lives… So, he starts with those closest to us.

Think about your family for a minute. Think about how your life (rightly) revolves around the people whom you love the best. Your partner, your kids, your parents and siblings. Many of you have spent your entire lives within mere miles of all your closest relations.

If that is true of you, you may not understand how engaged/involved you are with your relations. Your proximity shapes, not just who you are, but what you value. Jesus is using provocative language to get his disciples – and that means us too – to realize that ‘the world’ is bigger than the clan.

Jesus inhabits a world that was clannish by necessity. In the ‘us-against-them’ world of an Imperial Roman suburb, your family – your fellow worshippers – your neighbourhood connections were life and breath. Thinking beyond the moment – the pressing need – thinking outside that narrow, relational box was neither practical nor wise. Survival depends on a singular focus. Follow the rules and look after your kin.  Jesus’ parable questions that reality, and proposes another.

The images of a builder who must stop work for lack of funds, or the general who picks their battles wisely are offered to show us the value of a wider point of view. It is the family connection that feels out of place here. But Jesus is inviting us to follow him down a path that is not bounded by our urgent and local desires and concerns. The provocative language concerning family ties is the lever that opens our eyes to the wider world.

Jesus – more than once – calls for the release of our worldly good. Those who could not bear to ‘sell all they had’ to join the crowd of disciples were left behind with a note of sadness. They were not able to see the big picture, and Jesus is a big picture guy…

The talk of hating our kin flies in the face of all the love and compassion that is the best thing about the Gospel. So, let’s consider that this is not an outlier, but part of the package. Jesus uses extraordinary language (hate) to provoke us to compassion beyond the narrow scope of our families, our communities, and dare I say our religions and nations.

The invitation to follow Jesus is an invitation to engage the wider world. If we have built our own worlds around a few treasured people and a handful of precious things, it will be impossible for us to care for much beyond that limited horizon. And Jesus, being Jesus, makes a ridiculous proposition. In turning away from our most treasured relationships, we are opened to wider connections. We are asked to look beyond the tribalism that provokes comparison and aggression. Our focus on family success and survival can (and does) blind us, not just to the needs of others, but to the diversity of gifts and resources that are available when we cooperate beyond our small circle of comfort.

The kingdom proposed by Jesus’ parable is not a kingdom without the joy and strength of strong family ties. Jesus advocates for a kingdom that recognizes a larger and more complicated family dynamic. Beyond the boundary of ‘first cousin, once removed’ there is an abundance of love, grace, and shared enterprise; the human family, beloved of God, each and every one.

So, hate your family – look beyond them, without fear. Jesus’ strange request may be the secret that moves us beyond ‘hate’ to a world where hate has no traction. To a world ruled by compassion for everyone.